Twins can't pass on Buck.

 
Photo Courtesy SI

With the second overall pick in the 2012 amateur baseball draft, the Minnesota Twins selected the much ballyhooed Byron Buxton, a high school outfielder from Georgia.  Scouts have branded Buxton as having five-tool potential, and bandy about phrases like "high-ceiling", "great makeup", and "freakish athleticism" when describing him.  Which, when you're drafted into a Minnesota pro sports franchise, is pretty much the kiss of death.  Such is life as a one part pessimist and two part fatalist sports fan in the Land 'O 10,000 Lakes.  We hardly knew ye Buck. 

But wait a second.  Let's dream on him a bit, shall we?  Sure the Twins current on-field product is as Bill Walton would say, terrrribbble.  With luminaries such as Jeff Gray, Cole DeVries, and Darrin Mastorianni (I don't even care enough to look up how to spell that, sorry Darrin, or is it Darren?), currently donning the T and C on their hats, it is painfully apparent that the Twins have quickly fallen from grace since the opening of Target Field in 2010.  Jim Thome stopped hitting taters, starting hitting the icy hot, and got dealt east.  Michael Cuddyer and Jason Kubel moved on for greener pastures and greener wallets.  Tsuyoshi Nishioka's supermodel girlfriend broke up with him after he broke his leg and couldn't hit major league pitching.  Damn you Nick Swisher and your gritty, fundamentally sound slides into second base!  (Seriously, how bad do you feel for Nishioka?  Think he's happy he made the leap across the pond?  Check out his MILB pic.  Yeesh.)  Oh, and the M and M boys broke their bodies. 

Fast forward three years.  Give Terry Ryan a chance to work his stoic mojo for a little bit.  Granted, the following is probably too aggressive, and there will be some washouts, but this is my hypothetical scenario, so deal with it.

POSITION	PLAYER	2015 AGE	Notes
Catcher	Ghost of Joe Mauer	32	Born 3 days after me and his wheels are gone. Likely not at catcher in 2015, but in this illustration, Joe  has knee transplant surgery.  I think I'm going to need help getting up out of my chair after posting this.
First Base	Miguel Sano	22	Could be Miguel Cabrera 2.0.  Seriously.  Has never met a donut he didn't like.
Second Base	Eddie Rosario	24	Solid regular.  Top 100 prospect.  Could go 15/15 and hit .280.
Shortstop	Levi Michael	24	Close to majors now.  Another steady if unspectacular type.
Third Base	Travis Harrison	23	Huge power.  Something like Travis Fryman and Dean Palmer's love child.  Travis gave him his name, but not his glove.
Left Field	Ben Revere	27	Full disclosure:  I heart Ben Revere.  No arm.  No power.  Great speed, average, and plate discipline.  Nice top of the order type.
Center Field	Byron Buxton	22	He's 18.  Who knows.  This is my dream though, so here he is.
Right Field	Oswaldo Arcia	24	Not many at bats on the farm, but has impressed.  Not a ton of stolen bases, but has speed.  Could go 20-20 someday.
Designated Hitter	Great Gazoo Justin Morneau	34	We know he'll have a big helmet.  What else he'll bring to the table - your guess is as good as mine.
Other Guys:
OF	Aaron Hicks	26	Huge talent has never delivered.  4th OFer?
1B / OF	Chris Parmelee	27	See above.
INF	Brian Dozier	28	As long as guys like Gardenhire and Scioscia are in the league, Dozier might play until he's 50 because he is a gamer. Hopefully he's not a long-term starter for the Twinkies.

By the looks of things, if you squint real hard you can see a pretty good young squad in place in 3 years.  Dealing Spansies, Willinghamsies, Doumitsies, Lirianosies, etc., this year and next could bring back some more young talent.  In addition, 5 more top 100 picks this week and the assurance of picking high for at least another year or two means Terry Ryan has ample ammo to re-stock the shelves  - read: pitching.

Geez, pitching is another story.  I don't even want to go there but to say that I hope we draft and trade well for guys who aren't yet in our system.  As it stands, Deolis Guerra, Carlos Gutierrez, Lester Oliveros and Glen Perkins offer some hope for the bullpen.  Guys like Kyle Gibson, Alex Wimmers, Adrian Salcedo, Liam Hendricks, and possibly even Scott Diamond could be taking regular turns in the rotation by 2015. (Believe me, that wasn't any easier for me to type than it was for you to read.) 

All in all, the next 3 years will be critical to the determining how long the Twins remain in the basement.  But, with Terry Ryan at GM, Gardy and Rick Anderson in the dugout, and one of the better scouting departments in the land, let's hope that the handsome confines of Target Field aren't hosting ugly baseball for too long.

Army of Villains Inductee: Nate Poole

http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/154/501/W13natepoole

Nate Poole.  Ask any Vikings fan who lived through the Mike Tice era and this name undoubtedly leaves a bad taste in their mouth. 

The 2003 Minnesota Vikings started 6-0 and led the NFC North for the entire season until  the last seconds of their season finale against the 4-12 Arizona Cardinals.  That fateful moment happened to be a 4th and 28 where Cardinals QB Josh McCown broke contain and found WR Nate Poole in the back of the endzone for the game winning touchdown as time expired.  The loss knocked the Vikings out of the playoffs and capped off a 3-7 slide that saw the team become only the second ever to start 6-0 and miss the playoffs.

Poole, then a 2nd year wideout from Marshall caught only 13 passes that season and the backbreaking TD against the Vikes was his first.  He went on to play only two more seasons in the NFL catching only 8 more passes.

The Vikings loss gave the 2003 NFC North crown and playoff spot to the hated Green Bay Packers who as any good rival should rubbed salt in the Purple's wounds by inviting Poole to enjoy their 1st rd playoff game in a box suite at Lambeau and gave him a key to their city.  The Pack beat the Seattle Seahawks in the infamous Matt Hasselback "we'll take the ball and we're gonna score" game and lost to the Philadelphia Eagles in the Divisional Round the following week.

While Poole's NFL shelf life was brief he will be forever remembered in the minds of Minnesota Vikings fans everywhere as the man who single-handily ended the 2003 Vikings season and gave birth to this famous call by Vikings announcer Paul Allen.  Kudos to fro30 for immortalizing the call via Tecmo Super Bowl.

Stupid Quote of the Day

Stupid quote of the day belongs to Sen. Barb Goodwin, DFL - Columbia Heights.

When debating the Vikings stadium issue, Barb offered this gem:

“I’d like to find out where all these places [are] the Vikings are going to move to?”

Way to go Barb, I'm sure the good people of Columbia Heights are pleased to be represented by one who is so up-to-date on current events.

"Where is this Los Angeles you speak of?"

T.R.A.G. Presents "Differences Between Men and Women"

Tall Random Awkward Guy points out some crucial scientific differences between men and women....

"If a man can bench press 300 lbs he is TRULY A MAN!"

"If a woman can bench press 300 lbs she is TRULY A MAN!"

T.R.A.G. Presents "Tricky Situations"

 Shoot That S! presents guest writer, Tall Random Awkward Guy (T.R.A.G.) and his list of "Tricky Situations."  Let us know if you've had any of these happen to you...

Tricky Situations

  

Forgetting that after paying for your ticket to see Troy you realize one of your friends isn’t old enough to see it and can’t get in, he drove you but you see it anyways.

Flushing the toilet only to see the water come back up.

Spiders bigger than a quarter.

Eating food for the first time since you threw up after eating it before.

Babysitting something that can’t control its bowels.

Knowing your fly is down during a presentation and having to figure out where to go from there.

Trying to break up with a girl only to date her sister.

Dialing the wrong person and when they pick up trying to come up with a reason you called them.

Eating grapes with a plastic fork.

Spraining your thumb while playing video games and having to finish the level.

Convincing your roommate that street hooligans messed up his bumper after you used his car.

Having an amateur poker player tell you that you won the big pot only to discover that they actually won it.

Having to tell your boss the reason you didn’t get the sale was because you accidentally hit on the prospect.

Watching a movie with your girlfriend and her parents, but forgetting it has a scene of intense love making.