The Time the Atlanta Hawks Drafted Giant Gonzalez

Link
credit New York Times



Gonzalez is most famous for becoming this...

from Wikepedia:

"World Championship Wrestling (1989–1992)

In 1989, Hawks owner Ted Turner offered González a job as a professional wrestler with another of his ventures, World Championship Wrestling (WCW). After a year of training, González was introduced to fans as El Gigante on May 19, 1990 at the pay-per-view Capital Combat. Wearing shorts, he competed as a fan favorite and was billed as being close to eight feet tall.


Over the next two years, he feuded with Ric Flair over the WCW World Championship, participated in a 'Chamber Of Horrors' match in 1991 and also had a date on TBS with Missy Hyatt. He also developed a feud with Sid Vicious and the One Man Gang over the identity of being the true giant of WCW.He also had a cross promotional stint in the New Japan Pro Wrestling promotion before signing with the World Wrestling Federation in 1993.

World Wrestling Federation (1993)

Debut and feud with The Undertaker (1993)González competed as "Giant Gonzales" during his time in World Wrestling Federation (WWF) as a villain, managed by Harvey Wippleman, González grew a beard and wore a full body suit that featured airbrushed muscles with bushy hair attached. He was introduced at the Royal Rumble in January 1993, where he eliminated Wippleman's nemesis The Undertaker from the Royal Rumble match despite not being an official participant.  Gonzalez lost to The Undertaker at WrestleMania IX by disqualification after he knocked Undertaker unconscious using ether. This remains the only instance where the Undertaker has not had a decisive victory in his WrestleMania streak.  After another loss to The Undertaker at SummerSlam, to end the feud. Wippleman berated Gonzalez leading Gonzalez to turn on Harvey Wippleman."


His wrestling gimmick was also named one of the 20 worst gimmicks of all time.

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan quotes

http://zodiblog.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/bobbyheenan_display_image.jpg

In the humble opinion of Shoot That S! when it came to pro wrestling commentary there was Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and then there was everybody else.  At his peak when paired with Gorilla Monsoon calling WWF matches in the 80s and 90s they could turn even the most dull match into must see TV.  Here are a few of Heenan's gems. (source: http://www.pwwew.net/quotes/heenan.htm)

*the views expressed by Bobby the Brain Heenan are not representative of the views of this blog.*






"A friend in need is a pest."

"What happened there? My monitor went out."

"You don't have to yell at me! I'm not blind!"

Gorilla: "Brain, if you keep quiet, no one will know how stupid you are."
Bobby: "You're kidding."

Heenan: " That's either the flock or the who's who of skid row."
Schiavone: " Maybe both."

(After saying something smart)
"Do you think this brain thing is a gimmick?"

"If you ever had your moon salted you'd know how painful that could be."

(after Juventud Guerrera took off his mask)
"Maybe that's Okerlund under there?" and later. . .
"Now when he delivers pizza, everyone will know who he is."

(Talking about the Narcissist Lex Luger's elbow)
"He's had more hits than Elvis."

"You know what slows down Typhoon? Twinkies--Hostess Cupcakes."

(Talking about Typhoon)
"He uses his weight advantage at dinner."

"Doink is like Jell-o: there is always room for more."

"It's a dog eat dog world, and Mr. Perfect is a Milk Bone."

(When Bob Backlund is entering the arena)
"At 234 pounds, from Mayberry, Opie Taylor."

"North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?

Jim Ross: "Hey everybody can't be born with a silver spoon in their mouth and have a chauffeur named Jennifer, who told me she hasn't had a raise in several months."
Bobby Heenan: "She said that?"
Ross: "Yes"
Heenan: "She's fired. I'll unload her like I found her. Do you need a job on the weekends?"
Ross: "I'm a little busy on the weekend"
Heenan: "Oh that's right, you just drive pickup trucks."

"Stu Hart trained all his kids--only three of them use the litter box."

(Talking about the Guerrero family)
"Their family is watching this at home wondering if the wheels are going to get stolen off their house.

(Chris Benoit was wrestling a fake midget Rey Mysterio, Jr.)
"I know who that is. It is the chihuahua from the Taco Bell commercials."

Terry Schiavone: "I smell Jackhammer. I smell Hogan."
Bobby Heenan: "Anyone close to him does."

Heenan: "You call them Luchadores?"
Tenay: "Luchadores."
Heenan: "That sounds like the tight pants that you wear at a bullfight."

(Talking about Chavo Guerrero)
"He's the only guy I know that has a stable of stick horses."

"If you're poor and you do something stupid, you're nuts. If you're rich and do something stupid, you're eccentric."

"You know you put too many lemons in your lemonade when you pucker too much."

Tony Schiavone: "Scott Hall is looking a little better this week."
Bobby Heenan: "It's only Monday."

"There's another way to look at this: there are 153 Villanos wrestling."

(Talking about Chris Jericho)
Lee Marshall: "He is an ego maniac."
Bobby Heenan: "But he's good at it!"
Lee Marshall: "Good observation Brain."
Bobby Heenan: "That's why I'm called the Brain. And that's why I'm here on the Brain Station, TBS."

(Talking about Raven)
Bobby Heenan: "I wonder what his childhood was like: was he from wealthy parents, was he neglected, or was he spoiled?
Tony Schiavone: "Who cares?"
Heenan: "I do!"

Bobby Heenan: "Some nights the Villanos sit around the fire with popcorn and their masks on."
Tony Schiavone: "I hate you!"

(Talking about Alex Wright)
"His mother told me when he was eight months old he sat up in his crib and said 'Headlock.' "

(Talking about Koko B. Ware)
"The job is only half done. If they want to shrink his head, they already shrunk his haircut."

(Talking about Yokozuna on the day before Thanksgiving)
"505 pounds and maybe more after tomorrow."

"There is good news and bad news about Rey's shirt, The bad news is the shirt don't fit him, the good news is all the luchadores are moving in"

"There trying to say he just put the figure three on him self."

"If it wasn't for Mrs. Gurrero's chili they wouldn't have invented Rolaids."

Bobby Heenan: "That's not the first time he's been on the ground holding his stomach."
Tony Schiavone: "Huh?"
Bobby Heenan: "Obviously you've never had any of Mrs. Gurrero's chili."

"If you were smart you could have made a Duralog out of Pepe."

(crack at the Bushwhackers)
"The city of New York could legally condemn them."

Gorilla Monsoon: "The Pendulum swings."
Bobby Heenan: "Like a pendulum do."
Gorilla Monsoon: "is that a tune?"
Bobby Heenan: "Why do you hear music?"
Gorilla Monsoon: "No."

(Talking about Jim Niedhart)
"Now he's the sane one of the team?"

(Jim Niedhart looks into the camera and laughs)
"I think his headband is on too tight on the Anvil's head. I see I'm right."

"That shirt: It's like sinus infection green."

Tony Schiavone "I'm sure a liar has to make a living like everyone else."
Bobby Heenan "That's why we're here."

(Talking about Ralphus's dress)
"Obviously some cheap motel is missing a shower curtain."
"How could you not turn your attention to Ralphus; he's quite the looker."

(Talking about Chavo Guerrero, Jr.)
"He's never been the same since he lost Mr. Ed."

Bobby Heenan: "And don't forget Mickey Jay. He's a second generation, too."
Tony Schiavone: "Who's his father?"
Bobby Heenan: "He's not a wrestling referee. He ref'ed a pee-wee football league back in the '40's."

(Talking about Rey Mysterio, Jr. before he unmasks)
"I think he's ugly. What do you guys think?"

(After Rey Mysterio, Jr. unmasks)
"It's Leave it to Beaver!"

"You should just get beat up for having a last name Whipneck."
(Talking about Mikey Whipwreck)
"Do you think that when Mikey was a kid, was he his parents' little whipper-snapper?"

"Tony, it looks like your room at the Motel 3."

(Talking about Will Sasso from Mad TV)
"We're watching the illegitimate child of Alfred E. Neuman out there."

(Talking about Will Sasso's outfit)
"Do you know what the number 73 means? That's the number of double cheeseburgers he had from 4 - 5."

"I smell a title change, or is it you Tony?"

Bobby Heenan: "I figured out who the Patriot is."
Tony Schiavone: "Who?"
BH: "Where is he from?"
TS: "Washington, DC."
BH: "It's Al Gore."

Mike Tenay: "He's got Roman numerals on his trunks."
Bobby Heenan: "His numerals shouldn't be roamin'."

Mike Tenay: "What took us so long to come to Chapel Hill?"
Bobby Heenan: "We couldn't find it."

(Talking about Tony Schiavone)
"Next week I'll be on the Cartoon Network with pictures of your last date."

(Talking about Jim Duggan)
"He's has a disadvantage when he wakes up."

"What good is shaking your hands? If you want to shake something, put your hands together and wrap them around your opponent's head."

"I remembered when Tony came to WCW. He took the mask off and his career skyrocketed."

"You spend nine years in a hardcore punk band--of course you'd be deaf."

Mike Tenay: "Just who is the leader of the nWo?"
Bobby Heenan: "I'm not sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if Tony Danza comes out."

(During a hardcore match)
"These two move more furniture than Mayflower."

Tony Schiavone: "Don't try this in your backyard."
Bobby Heenan: "Do it in your living room, it is much more fun. Or maybe in Tony's living room, he'll never know."

"What has Saturn got on? Mudflaps?"

(Booker T makes his own count for the win)
"That wouldn't work. You gotta have a guy dressed like a zebra for that."

"Just the other day I was talking to Cal Ripken, Jr. and he asked me 'Do they pay Tony?' "

"And for those of you that dropped out of high school, remember the famous phrase: 'Do you want fries with that?' "
"I don't have el zippo, I don't even smoke or have a lighter!"

(Talking about Hulk Hogan and pyrotechnics)
"At least he doesn't have to worry about his hair catching on fire."

Jim Ross: "Tremendous ovation for Hacksaw Jim Duggan."
Bobby Heenan: "I don't know why!"

"Kidman's like a broken drum: hard to beat."
"You don't need a vacuum cleaner out here: he's cleaning house himself."

(If Kidman lost the hair vs. mask match)
"What a great new tag team: The Okerlunds"

(Referring to the First Family, who were wearing masks, at Halloween Havoc)
"Jimmy Hart told me they would be wearing masks to the ring. I'm wondering why aren't they."

Tony Schiavone: "I never even knew Evan Karagias was here."
Bobby Heenan: "I never know where he is and don't care."

"Is everyone from Texas nuts, or are we just lucky to see the ones we do?"

Tony Schiavone: "Pardon me."
Bobby Heenan: "I'm not the governor."

Gorilla Monsoon: "He might have some relatives here.  He's looking around."
Bobby Heenan: "He's looking for the exit: the quick way out."

Gorilla Monsoon: "The Texas Tornado could sustain permanent brain damage if it's kept on for much longer."
Bobby Heenan: "Then again it could increase his IQ by 9 points.  That would make an even 10."

Gorilla Monsoon: "The corner of the steps hit him in the trapezius."
Bobby Heenan: "That's what they use in the circus."

Tony Schiavone: "That's one of the tings that makes this sport great."
Bobby Heenan: "No I'm one of the things that makes this sport great!"

(Referring to Tony Schiavone)
"That's "The Brain" right there. -And that's the other part of the anatomy"

The Patriots - Fighting for Freedom from This Gimmick

Reaching deep into the bowels of WCW's dark days (i.e., 1991-1993), we at Shoot That S are pleased to induct The Patriots into our Pro Wrestling Junk Drawer.

Firebreaker Chip and Todd Champion, probably reluctantly, joined forces in 1991. Chip had the gimmick of, you guessed it, a fireman... Perhaps surprisingly, Chip's past gimmick was even worse; you see, back in his USWA days, Chip (Curtis Thompson to his non-friends) had a gimmick of "The Ultimate Male", in which he wore a mailman outfit to the ring. Unfortunately, Google's entire algorithm mainframe exploded when I tried to find a picture of this. Todd's ring-name was a bit more deceptive; he was billed as recently returning from Desert Storm. Confusingly, they were also announced as being from "WCW Special Forces", though evidently no one else was ever known to be from this group. Don't get me wrong, both were physical specimens to be sure, Todd standing 6'6" and weighing 290, with Chip a huskier 5'11" / 245.

The problem was that they pretty much sucked. After being pushed to the er...moon (read: U.S. tag champs), the dynamic duo lost the titles to Steve Armstrong and Tracey Smothers - The Young Pistols. Yes, at this point, the writing was on the wall.

Have no fear, faithful reader - yes, I'm talking to all one of you...we would not go to such lengths without a ridiculous video clip. So here I give you the Patriots beating up a couple of jobbers. If nothing else, Sam Cody may win my vote for greatest jobber ever. Who the heck is doing color commentary?

Yo Baby Yo Baby....NO!!!

When Paul Neu (cleverly titled "P.N. News") debuted in WCW in 1991, you could tell he was destined for mid-card mediocrity. Evidently the head honchos at Turner thought a swell idea would be to make a "rapmaster" dress not only in a backwards cap and some gold chains, but also some extremely tight-fitting colorful spandex for his 400 lb frame. Yes, if Akeem and Vanilla Ice had a baby, you are looking at him.

To the delight of exactly no one, P.N. would come to the ring rapping. His trademark phrase would be "Yo Baby, Yo Baby, Yo", which pretty much kept the crowd firmly in their seats. Per Wikipedia, P.N. also "botched his Broken Record finisher during a match against Dave Sheldon, where he splashed Sheldon's knees instead of his torso, effectively ending Sheldon's career". Needless to say, P.N.'s days in WCW were numbered shortly thereafter.

And yet.....when someone with the "ability" of P.N. is paired in a match with Rick Rude, great things can still happen, as evidenced by this clip. Fortunately, Rude intervenes before the trademark phase comes up in the rap. Can't decide what I love more: that P.N. is billed as being from Motown, or his rat-tail.

Here's to you P.N.! You've been inducted into the honorary Shoot That S wrestling junk drawer!

Kevin Nash: Moments of Greatness

A man who ran a comic book store near my house once famously told me that "Kevin Nash couldn't wrestle himself out of a paper bag."  While his assessment of Nash's in-ring ability was probably spot-on, "Big Sexy" somehow played his massive size and backstage political ability into multiple championships in WWF and WCW.

Perhaps our favorite Kevin Nash moment was the video below from his second run in WWE.  After a 8 month long absence from the ring because of a torn biceps he made his triumphant return on Monday Night Raw to participate in a 10 man tag-team match.  What you are about to see is his first action in the ring, watch closely, it goes quick.  Fitting that this injury occurred while wrestling alongside two wrestlers he once called "vanilla midgets," the late Chris Benoit and Eddy Gurrero.

(Remember, this is the clown who WCW pegged to end Goldberg's "streak.") 

 

Powers Collectibles Nash Kevin Nash Kevin- 5584 (Google Affiliate Ad) 

Pro Wrestling Junk Drawer : The Heavenly Bodies

The 1992-94 era of pro wrestling was forgettable in many respects.  Unless you loved terrible gimmicks and bland story lines.  Then this era was your cup of tea.  It was during this era that both WCW and WWF agreed to deals with Jim Cornette's Smokey Mountain Wrestling to allow members of the SMW appear at their pay-per-views.  Two such members were "Doctor" Tom Pritchard and "Gigolo" Jimmy Del Ray.  Together they formed the tag team known as the Heavenly Bodies.  Cornette proved his worth as a salesman getting PPV matches for two guys that resembled registered sex offenders and wore fake angel wings to the ring. 

Del Ray wearing angel wings and rubbing his fat belly.

In 1993 the Bodies appeared at WCW's Superbrawl III against fellow SMW tag team, the Rock N Roll Express.  Later that year they had a run in WWF, losing to the Steiner Brothers at SummerSlam 93 and then defeating the Rock N Roll Express at Survivor Series 93 as part of another inter-promotional match with SMW.



Sadly, with the collapse of the SMW in 1995 the Heavenly Bodies would disband.  Pritchard returned to the WWF as Zip of the Bodydonnas tag team while Del Ray continued to wrestle independently.

"Doctor" Tom sure traded up...

We leave you with this treat of a match that pretty much signified the WWF of the early to mid 90s.  The Heavenly Bodies vs. 123 Kid and Aldo Montoya.

The 50 Greatest Wrestling Costumes of All Time

http://www.complex.com/style/2011/08/the-50-greatest-wrestling-costumes-of-all-time#1

Pleased to see Akeem, Rude, and Savage all make the top ten...