What if you did take a trip to Cobb County, GA??

"If you ever take a trip down to Cobb County, Georgia.
You better read the signs
Respect the law and order.
You'll serve hard times.
You'll be serving hard times.
You know the Big Boss Man will make you walk the line.
You better watch out boy or you'll be serving hard time.
He carries a big stick, a ball and chain too.
If you're looking for trouble he'll be coming after you.
You'll serve hard times.
You'll be serving hard times.
You know the Big Boss Man will make you walk the line.
You better watch out boy or you'll be serving hard time.
You'll be serving hard times.
You'll be serving hard times.
You know the Big Boss Man will make you walk the line.
You better watch out boy or you'll be serving hard time.
You'll be serving hard times.
You'll be serving hard times.
You know the Big Boss Man will make you walk the line.
You better watch out boy or you'll be serving hard time.
Hard times.
Hard times.
You know the Big Boss Man will make you walk the line.
You better watch out boy or you'll be serving hard time."


So I was humming the theme to the Big Boss Man the other day (don't judge me) and thought to myself - what IF someone were to take a trip to Cobb County, GA?  I mean, Georgia is part of the sunny South right? It's probably pretty nice this time of year.  I began to wonder if this part of the country was as straight-laced and borderline militant as the Big Boss Man would have me believe.  I thought I should probably do some homework and what better place to start than the Cobb County web site .

According to their web site, Cobb County is "Low on taxes, big on business."  No mention of Hard Time, hmmmm.  I also noticed that Marietta, GA was the county seat and also the hometown of one Marcus "Buff" Bagwell.  Clearly "Buff the Stuff" didn't walk the line...

"Serving hard time.."

 







As I continued to peruse the Cobb County website I stumbled across their tourism page, perfect!  Now I can really plan my vacation.  The best of Cobb section of the page says that I can visit "Stone Mountain, the World of Coke, and the Georgia Aquarium."  Wait a minute.  Stone Mountain is where Jake the Snake Roberts is from.  World of Coke?  Is Jake Roberts' house a tourist attraction? 

 I don't know if they should be advertising drug use...oh it's world of Coca-Cola....that makes more sense.  I was worried for a second there.

I found the Cobb County police department page, let's see if they pay tribute to the Big Boss Man.  Looks like they're hiring. I see they offer a competitive salary and excellent benefits.  No mention of allowing you to carry a big stick or a ball and chain too.  Disappointing.  A message from Chief John Houser totes his employees as "dedicated, well-trained, and enthusiastic professionals who take pride in their work."  That seems rather soft.  I click on their Most Wanted page - no mention of Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, Mr. Perfect, the Heenan family or crimes against Big Boss Man's mama.  They must've given up on those cases....

Even their Fallen Heroes page makes no mention of the Big Boss Man (tragically Ray Traylor, who played the Big Boss Man, died in 2004 of a heart attack).

In fact despite putting that county on the map it appears they have disowned the Big Boss Man completely.  On second thought, I don't think I can take a vacation to a place willing to turn their back on someone so devoted to law and order.

We leave you with a Big Boss Man classic....

      

Top Ten Wrestling Heels (1987-1991)

1987-1991 was arguably the greatest five year span in pro wrestling history (with 1996-2000 a close second). Largely responsible for the success of this era - along with steroids of course - were the following 10 heel wrestlers. Feel free to debate me, but you're clearly wrong already...

Top 10 Heel Wrestlers: 1987-1991*

10) Twin Towers - Separately, Ray Traylor and George Gray were pretty atrocious. And yes, they were only paired up from late-1988 through early 1990. But during that time, the two were one of the most entertaining / dominant tag-teams in the game, and largely responsible for the Mega Powers breaking up. We had to stomach Akeem's blue spandex tights, but the ridiculous dancing more than made up for it.

 

9) Earthquake - Vince certainly loves his big men. For being over 400 lbs, John Tenta could actually throw a pretty mean dropkick. This is the man responsible for crushing Hulk Hogan's ribs, sending countless jobbers to the hospital, and killing Jake Roberts' snake. Again, the blue spandex...















8) "The Model" Rick Martel - A drastic change from one-half of Strike Force - and ditching perhaps the worst entrance music in history. The Model first showed Tito who was the better half, then blinded Jake Roberts with his cologne (evidently a rough period for Jake...). Probably could/should be ranked lower down, but more of a mid-card type.

7) Sgt. Slaughter - Although a heel for a little over a year, The Sarge left his mark as one of the most controversial characters in history. Arguably the most hated heel over a one-year span ever. The man could sure sell, plus who didn't love this promo by Vince?

6) Andre the Giant - Getting the vote for this spot mostly for name recognition. In ring during this time, Andre was pure awful. His promos weren't much better. 

5) Honky Tonk Man - Never a big fan, but the guy could take a beating and make you hate him. The swinging neckbreaker was easily one of the worst finishers in wrestling history (couldn't even find a clip it is so bad). Performed this tasty lick live at WrestleMania 6 though...Also, hit Jake Roberts in the head with a non-breakable guitar (continuing our theme).

4) Mr. Perfect - The final four were a tough batch to rank. Could probably interchange any of them and still be correct. Mr. Perfect could sell the heck out of anything and put together some of the best vignette packages in wrestling history. 

3) "Macho Man/King" Randy Savage - Alternated as a face, but one of the best heels as well. Unfortunately saddled with stupid feuds against Jim Duggan and Dusty Rhodes, but also with main-eventers like Hogan and Warrior. Gave us plenty of great moments and survived carrying these two clowns.

2) "Ravishing" Rick Rude - The man could upset a crowd like no other. Airbrushed a picture of Cheryl Roberts on his tights, infuriating Jake. A true classic, whose career in WWF was unfortunately cut short when he discovered Warrior made about 10x the money, despite clearly carrying Warrior to some great matches. Stupid Warrior. 

1) "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase - This guy took a beating, made you hate him on the mic, feuded with the best, and had possibly the greatest theme song ever. #1 in my book. And who can forget this?

* Shawn Michaels (late-1991) began his heel run late during this period, and therefore was not included. Undertaker could be included, but I don't think he was a heel that truly defined this period of time in the way the others did. Wrestlers from WCW during this time were not included as it was clearly the inferior brand. If I were to include managers in the list, Bobby Heenan would be #1, hands down.