On the NFL's first game in London in 2007:
"I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that. I know London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."
His war of words with Jets coach Rex Ryan:
"Oh he's going crazy. He's going absolutely nuts," Crowder said. "I know it's his first chance to be a head coach, and I know he's excited about life. But I've never played a football game in June in my life. So congratulations to him. He's the OTA Super Bowl winner."
Ryan's response: "I don't know this Channing Crowder. All I know is that he's all tatted up, so I guess I ought to be nervous about him. The other thing is I think he's wrong because I do think you win in June. I think you win with your preparation and all that kind of stuff. If I was younger, I'd probably handle him myself."
"Oh, Lord have mercy. What's wrong with him? Now he's talking about preparation? We play them twice this year. If he wants to be prepared, shouldn't he know the starting middle linebackers of his division rival?
"He says he'd take care of me if he was younger? I'd have beat the hell out of that big old joker. Or if he really wants to get retro, my daddy or my uncle could have handled him.
"Let's see if he can top this one. I've walked over tougher guys going to a fight. He can send himself and his father after me."
On the NFL cracking down on helmet-to-helmet hits: "If they're going to keep making us go more and more and more like a feminine sport, we're going to wear pink every game, not just on the breast cancer months. If I get a chance to knock somebody out, I'm going to knock them out and take what they give me. They give me a helmet, I'm going to use it."
On the Dolphin's defense: "The defensive playbook is the size of a phone book, and we didn't even get through the As."
After a game vs. the Ravens:
"Le'Ron McClain spit in my face," Crowder said of the Ravens' Pro Bowl fullback out of Alabama. ""That's some real ho' s-, so if you talk to him tell him he's a ho'. If he ever comes to Miami, he's got to see me."Remarking after a Florida Gators loss to Mississippi State with John Brantley at QB: "They don't have an identity. They don't know what - John Brantley don't know what he wants to do. He can't outrun anybody. I saw him get run down by a white linebacker last week, which was a disgrace to all Florida football history."
What about the officials? Didn't they see what happened?
"Like they didn't see Chad Henne get hit twice when he slid. No, no, they say, "Aaah." Stevie Wonder and Anne Frank. Who's the blind girl? Helen Keller, then. I don't know who Anne Frank is. I'm mad right now. I'm not as swift as I usually am."
Sources used for this article: http://www.palmbeachpost.com/sports/dolphins/most-memorable-quotes-from-former-miami-dolphins-linebacker-1671863.html. http://deadspin.com/5829350/dolphins-linebacker-channing-crowder-retires-at-27-to-spend-more-time-with-his-own-crazy-thoughts-a-tribute