Thursday, September 6, 2012

The Patriots - Fighting for Freedom from This Gimmick

Reaching deep into the bowels of WCW's dark days (i.e., 1991-1993), we at Shoot That S are pleased to induct The Patriots into our Pro Wrestling Junk Drawer.

Firebreaker Chip and Todd Champion, probably reluctantly, joined forces in 1991. Chip had the gimmick of, you guessed it, a fireman... Perhaps surprisingly, Chip's past gimmick was even worse; you see, back in his USWA days, Chip (Curtis Thompson to his non-friends) had a gimmick of "The Ultimate Male", in which he wore a mailman outfit to the ring. Unfortunately, Google's entire algorithm mainframe exploded when I tried to find a picture of this. Todd's ring-name was a bit more deceptive; he was billed as recently returning from Desert Storm. Confusingly, they were also announced as being from "WCW Special Forces", though evidently no one else was ever known to be from this group. Don't get me wrong, both were physical specimens to be sure, Todd standing 6'6" and weighing 290, with Chip a huskier 5'11" / 245.

The problem was that they pretty much sucked. After being pushed to the er...moon (read: U.S. tag champs), the dynamic duo lost the titles to Steve Armstrong and Tracey Smothers - The Young Pistols. Yes, at this point, the writing was on the wall.

Have no fear, faithful reader - yes, I'm talking to all one of you...we would not go to such lengths without a ridiculous video clip. So here I give you the Patriots beating up a couple of jobbers. If nothing else, Sam Cody may win my vote for greatest jobber ever. Who the heck is doing color commentary?

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