Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Free Dez Bryant!

There aren't many things that get us riled up here at Shoot That S! but crimes against pro athletes just might be one of them.  So, you can imagine our reaction upon the news the Dallas Cowboys have instituted the "Dez Bryant" rules in an attempt to curb Mr. Bryant's allegedly inappropriate off the field behavior.

Not only does poor Dez have to attend bogus counseling sessions twice a week (ask Tom Cruise if these work )  but my man has to give up alcohol, have a midnight curfew, and be followed around by a security detail monitoring his every move.

But the kicker has to be the ridiculous clause that prevents Dez Bryant from going to the strip club.  I mean, c'mon man!  How dare you take away a man's right to make it rain.  The club is Dez's world, his home, his essence.  You take Dez Bryant out of the strip club and you take away his "Dez-ness."  And if You, Me & Dupree taught us anything it's that you can't function without your "Dez-ness."  Dez Bryant may not be throwing seven different types of smoke but he might be throwing seven different types of currency.  Lickity Split! 

We can only hope that the NFL Players Association is putting together their army of attorneys as we speak to come to Dez Bryant's aid.  Because if Jerry Jones can take away an NFL player's right to the strip club what does he have left?!  The good news is that this fight is not over.  Dez Bryant backs down from no man.  Or woman.  Or his mother. 

Keep fighting the good fight Dez Bryant.  Keep fighting.  Just not after midnight on a work night...or after drinking...or at the club....and whatever you do don't tell your psychologist. 

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