Saturday, June 25, 2011

Exposed: Iron Chef America Chairman!

Ok, call me naive.  Perhaps a little too trusting even.  But when I tune in to my favorite cooking battle reality tv show I expect it to be on the up and up.  Recent facts have come to light however, that are calling all I held as truth in Kitchen Stadium to be questioned.

It turns out the the Chairman of Iron Chef America is in fact NOT the nephew of the shows original host, Chairman Kaga.  His name is Mark.  He's from Hawaii.  And he's a paid actor.  And contrary to what he would lead you to believe each week on the Food Network, he speaks very good English.  

It gets worse my friends.  Not only is he a fraud, but a B movie making fraud at that.  Turns out before he "brought Iron Chef to America" he starred as Jesse Page in Boogie Boy and as Matt Reeves in Kickboxer 5: The Redemption.  Here's a little training montage I found.  Turns out he can break an arrow with his adam's apple.  Tonight's secret ingredient:  "cheesy."

If you're like me you're reeling right now. Trying to digest this information while starting to question what else on Iron Chef America might be fabrication.  The judges?  Alton Brown's encyclopedic knowledge of food? Kevin Brauch's sole patch?

You lied to me Alton.
Is nothing sacred?

Sometimes the truth hurts faithful readers.  But while you might not be able to trust your favortite battlefield cooking program you can always count on us to "shoot straight."

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